This is probably one of the most transparent posts I’ve written. No filter, no holding back, just real. I’m taking a chance and stepping into vulnerability with this. I’m hoping that it speaks truth to at least one person. Praying that it begins to change our hearts, culture, and the way that we view others.
After numerous conversations with so many around me, I’ve learned how many more people try to play this game, and time and time again continue to be hurt by it- the game of comparison. Unfortunately, it’s a game I tend to be quite good at. These past few months, the Lord has revealed to me the dangers that come with comparison.
When we try to play the game of comparison, I think it truly limits us from our potential. We become so distracted by how others around us are doing, we lose sight of what the Lord is doing in us. We tend to compare people’s “on stage” with our “backstage.” In reality, we have no idea what others struggle with behind the scene or the really difficult seasons they have had to walk to in order to mold them into who they are today. We become so distracted that we lose sight and begin to focus on our “performance.” And the enemy uses this all to his advantage. He begins to speak lies to your heart about yourself and about those around you.
For me, it feels like comparison has been on ongoing battle inside of me for years and something that I have to consciously fight even today. Over and over, the enemy has made me believe that in order to really live out Jesus, I have to be doing it “better” than those around me. I’ve had broken friendships because of this struggle- when I feel like I have to be “better.” It’s made me question my worth and impact. It’s caused me to not genuinely welcome others because I feel “threatened.” It’s made me lose perspective and turn things into about me when it should be all about Jesus. It’s made me, at times, have a “the grass is greener on the other side” mentality which always leads to a cycle of pursuing something “better.”
So having shared all this, let me speak with authority as I declare some truth to your heart…while I quote the great Dr. Seuss. “Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive, who is youer than you!” Are these words I’ve said to my kindergarten kids? Yes. But does it apply to us no matter how old we get? ABSOLUTELY. Jesus has created you with certain strengths that no one else has. He’s done the same for each and every one of us. We’re all made uniquely with different gifts so that it may all be used for His glory and to bring His children back to Him (1 Corinthians 12). Don’t compare your gifts or the season you’re in to anyone else’s. When we compare it’s almost like we’re saying, “Jesus, I don’t think You’re doing good enough…” because that’s never true. Let me tell you, Jesus knows us better than we know ourselves and He knows what’s best for us, all in His perfect timing.
If you’re someone that struggles with comparison like I do, the hardest and first step is admitting and accepting. Then ask Jesus to come and begin a work in your heart. Meditate on these thoughts and ask yourself these simple questions to understand where your heart is at-
- Know your identity- Am I spending time in His presence and in the Word? (Psalm 16:11). If so, am I being reminded of who I am? (1 Peter 2:9).
- Maintain perspective- Am I trying to please people or please Jesus? (Galatians 1:10).
- Be Kingdom minded- Am I really doing this because I want to expand the Kingdom or is it to impress others? (1 Corinthians 10:31).
Jesus, reveal more of Your heart to us. Remind us of our identity that is found in You. Help us to never lose sight. Help us to build others up and encourage, rather than compare. Teach us to love and live like You did and continue to do. Amen.