“So after you graduate, what are your plans?” This is the question I’ve been constantly asked by everyone around me for the past six months or so. And my answer has been the same- “uhh, I’m not sure… the classroom, ministry, possibly nonprofit work, childcare, maybe go overseas… but just waiting on the Lord and praying for an obedient heart to go wherever He calls me to.” And that’s exactly what I did. I prayed, asked Him for a burning bush moment, and waited…well at least until the beginning of March. I started to become a bit impatient, restless, and pretty much a brat. So in the mix of all these emotions, I tried to take matters into my own hands and I applied to Garland ISD for a teaching position post graduation.
As I applied, I asked God specifically- “Jesus, if you want me in the classroom after graduation, make it obvious. If not, slam this door shut. If you want me in the classroom, it needs to be in this specific district.” I was very much a brat. After I sent in my application, the district had me do an online one-way interview (hands down the awkwardest experience of my life, btw) and within a few minutes of submitting the video, I received a notification. Long story short, I received a message from a recruiter for the district stating they wanted to try and help me get a job in the district. Long story short, I soon realized that recruiter was my old high school principal who is now one of the directors of human resources for the district…CRAZY, RIGHT?!
In that moment, it felt like Jesus and I had one of those “I told you so” moments. All I could do for the next couple of days was laugh at myself. For the ways I had been impatient and a brat with the Lord. But even in that moment, Jesus continued to prove His faithfulness to me. Even though “[I was] unfaithful, He remain[ed] faithful because He cannot deny who He is” (2 Timothy 2:13). He was faithful regardless of the state of my heart and continues to be. Soon after that conversation with my old high school principal, I called my parents and my Ammachi (grandma in Malayalam) and they were overwhelmed, just as I was. Overwhelmed by the way Jesus had remained faithful. Overwhelmed by His gentleness and kindness in my season of waiting. Overwhelmed by His power and presence in this situation. Overwhelmed by Him.
He has a purpose in all things. He is working in the present, in our everyday lives when we don’t even realize it. I had no idea when I was in high school, that being involved in student government would help build relationships that would impact my life later on. I had no idea that the relationship I built with my principal and high school staff would one day be a way the Lord would reveal His faithfulness to me. So if you’re in a season where things feel stagnant, confidently believe the Lord is at work. Ask Him to give you vision and wisdom to see His hand at work. Ask for patience and a steady heart.
Even now, with only a couple days left of student teaching and less than a month before graduation, I don’t have a specific job lined up. I have no idea what my life will look like a couple months from now and that’s honestly a scary place to be in. But I was deeply reminded by Jesus through this circumstance that He has been faithful this far and will continue to be faithful. It’s nothing from my own ability or deeds, but rather His faithfulness alone. That’s something that’s always been hard for me if I’m being honest. Growing up in a type of culture that wants you to rely on your own strength and ability, it’s always been a struggle. But Jesus is so much more powerful than I can ever imagine, it blows my mind whenever I think about it.
And so in regards to my future, all I know is that the Lord has spoken clearly and I plan to step into the classroom (no idea which one yet lol) after graduation, but only for a season. I’m not sure how long that season will be, but trusting Him. I believe He wants me in the classroom to empower, equip, and educate my future students. But He’ll be preparing me for what He has in store after my time in the classroom, whatever and wherever that may be.
As I’m turning 22, that’s what I hold onto- His faithfulness. That’s honestly all I can hold onto. Jesus has been faithful this far and will continue to be. That’s what I’ve caught myself saying over and over in conversations lately. As I look back at this past year, He has been faithful in all things- school stress, heartache, anxiety, convictions, loss, changes, ministry, family matters, eviction notices (lol, ask me about this story!), and so much more. And so I say again, He has been faithful this far, and will continue to be.
So in me sharing all this, I want to encourage you- trust Him. Jesus loves and cares for you more than you know. He is faithful beyond understanding, even when you’re not. He values you, He treasures you. His grace extends beyond what we can imagine. So even when we are unfaithful, stubborn, or just a straight up brat (like I was) He continues to be faithful, always. “[His] faithful love never ends and His mercies never cease. Great is His faithfulness…”(Lamentations 3:22-23). He knows we’re human and it’s in our nature to have trust issues and try to do things out of our own strength. So even when you want to just do things out of your own will and strength, remind yourself of His power, love, and faithfulness- He never fails.